Forever Strong

Today I received notification that the most winning High School Rugby Coach ever has decided to serve a three-year mission for his church.  This is very typical of Larry Gelwix.  In fact, most of you have probably heard of Larry through the very popular movie, "Forever Strong."

Larry coached the Highland Rugby Team to 19 National Championships, with a career record of 404 wins and 10 loses.  This spanned 1976 until 2010.  They also represented the USA in the World Schools Rugby Championship in Zimbabwe, Africa, bringing home a bronze medal third-place finish.

Larry is known as a very demanding coach.  He requires all of his players to sign a non-negotiable honor code that includes avoiding alcohol, tobacco, and drugs, among other things.  He formulated what he calls the 5 Championship Strategies for Sustainable Success.  Here are three of the five.

Choose What Team You Are Going to Play For.  We can not have divided loyalty.  You don't normally help the other team win.  Pick what jersey you are going to wear and be dang proud to wear it!  My daughter plays competitive soccer and this is a resounding theme from the coach and club.

Don't Play With Snakes.  Sooner of later we will get bit if we play with snakes.  There is right and wrong in this world, and our conscience will tell us when we need to know.  We all know what snakes are and to avoid them.  Don't think for a second that you won't get bit.

Don't Go Thirsty.  In life we need water.  Without it we will die.  Especially in sports we need water.  My son has participated in karate for quite a while.  This past week his karate studio is moving to a bigger building.  They moved the drinking fountain to the new building, while still using the old building for class.  I told myself that I needed to send a water bottle with my son this week, but I forgot.  When I met him at the studio after work, he and his classmates were drinking water from the bathroom sink!  Boy did I feel bad.  We also need living water in our lives.  If you are religious, the Bible can provide this for you.  If not, a good solid role model can do it.

I wish I could find the other two, but no luck.  Larry also uses other principles in his coaching, such as staying away from things you know are wrong, attitude and effort, W.I.N. what's important now, which encourages his players to make decisions that support what they want in the future, and to focus on the final score of life.  He also encourages his players to be true to the beliefs of their own individual faith.

Larry is known for personal quotes that he uses both to coach and when he speaks to youth groups.  Some of these quotes are as follows:

• "Good decisions don't make life easy, but they do make it easier."
• "The true test of a man is what he will do when no one will know."
• "The essence of a lie is not the words you choose, but the message you convey."
• "If you lose your integrity, you've lost everything."
• "I want you to be forever strong on the field, so that you will be forever strong off the field."
• "I don't build championship teams, I build championship boys."
• "Practice doesn't make perfect, practice makes permanent."

My daughter has a coach that is very much like Larry.  She is set on developing girls for life, not just for the game.  Her interactions with both the girls and their parents are built on solid morals.

Good coaches typically are the prodigy of other good coaches.  My daughter's soccer coach played college soccer for a coach who is still coaching college level soccer.  She has nothing but praise for that coach.  My daughter has nothing but praise for her coach.  Gosh!  if we could all be good coaches the world would be a much better place.  Suffice it to say, it is a good thing to have a good coach in your life.  Whether sports or other, it makes no difference.

Till next time,
Bill

I'm Gonna Miss Her...

I had a chance to go to a Brad Paisley concert a few weeks ago.  Granted, I am not a die hard country western fan, but I must admit that Brad really tore the place apart!  He plays a wicked lead guitar, which was really showcased at the concert.  I would throw him in the leagues with Eric Clapton and Jimmy Page.  He is quite amazing!  I also enjoyed the large video screen behind the stage which ran effects and videos during the concert.  I particularly liked the rendition of "I'm Gonna Miss Her (The Fishing Song)."  The video hi-lights his wife as always being stood up by his leaving to go fishing with the boys.

Granted, this song is a quite humorous and a lot of fun to watch and listen to, but it does set the stage for what I want to chat about in this blog.  I have a friend, who I used to work with.  He and his wife seemed to be the best.  Two kids, a boy and a girl, twins!  They invited my wife and I over for New Years.  We had good food, watched a movie, did karaoke, and made a lot of noise at midnight.

My kids became their kids best friends.  We did a lot together.  We created a great friendship.  Over the next few years I discovered that my friend was in a band.  He was gone a lot playing gigs.  He even gave me a copy of his first CD!  It was cool to listen to his band.  I had great admiration for his success.  My wife became good friends with his wife.  The kids had sleepovers.  Things were good -- until my friends daughter told my daughter that her dad was moving out.

Ok, cut, stop the movie, timeout!  What has happened here?  Before I knew it, it was common news that my friends had separated.  He was living across town in another house, while his wife and kids were living in the same house I had met them in.  Details surfaced, mostly from my wife, who would spend time talking to my friend's wife... a lot of time.

More details, this time from the daughter.  "My dad has a girl friend and I don't like her."  "My dad's girlfriend is so cool!"  "My dad took me and his girlfriend down to the lake for a week to stay on the houseboat."

And then, later, from the same daughter, "My mom's boyfriend is taking us to California for a week!"  I won't belabor this point anymore as you can see this is the age-old American or for that matter, worldly pattern.  Marriage, infidelity, divorce, marriage (repeat, repeat, repeat).  What we don't usually see is what may be happening behind the scenes.

I found out that this culminating event was slow burning over many years.  My friends had recognized their problems and had attempted to work them out, over three different Psychiatrists.  With Psychiatrist number one, they delved into the husbands time that he spent away with his band -- and he took offense.  With Psychiatrist number two, they delved into the wife's history, her mother, and brothers and sisters.  This ended abruptly when the wife had had enough.

Psychiatrist number three didn't have a chance, as the damage was too ingrained by then.  He worked with my friends, but I'm guessing they had given up.  And then the poor choices by my friend shortly after that sealed the divorce.

I wish that I could fix the world, that every marriage would be, ten years later, like the first day.  I realize, in reality, that this is not the case.  For a marriage to work there needs to be give and take between husband and wife.  There needs to be honesty, understanding, and above all love.  Now I am not a psychiatrist, I will stop now, but suffice it to say, for a marriage to succeed, it takes work every day.  Like Brad Paisley sings, too much fishing, or too much selfishness is not good for a marriage.

Till next time,
Bill